How To Treat Bunions
March 29, 2013 – 12:00 am | No Comment
A bunion is a deformity that is mainly made up of a lateral deviation of the great toe which enlarges due to a tissue or a bone. It is a serious foot problem. These are formed within the foot and not on the surface of the foot. An arthritic condition and  a result of bone degeneration it is found as  a lump on the outside portion of the big toe. Bunions are seen near the joint of the toe and sometimes  [...]

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Home » Stress Management

Kick Back Your Worries

Submitted by on September 24, 2009 – 8:25 pmNo Comment



What can ease you during your hard times is the courage concealed inside you for tackling the worst nightmares of life? You can’t always expect from the life to always bestow happiness, because people who get everything start taking things for granted. Imagine by your own consciousness that if everything happens good with yourself, you will not relish it fully as it would be the regular thing that you ultimately get to achieve. If you never saw the face of unhappiness, how will you respect the positivity of cheerfulness? Therefore it is essential game of life to take you to twists and turns so that you start recognizing its importance. Hence, life sometimes gives hard knocks over the face that chokes us adversely and we have a great fall backwards and we take a long time to revivify into life.

But you need to understand that you have to rebounce quickly and start leading life happily. There is an exemplary set by this audacious woman named De’shazior Hill who in 2006 got divorced to her husband after supplementing him over a period of 20 years. After tasting this bitterness from life, she got totally shattered but still got up on her feet to make her future by herself. At the age of 47, she is pursuing her further studies in Ph.d. and she is contented with her new devotion in supporting poor children and women. Now, she feels that she is on the top of the world and she never had been this much happy even while she was living a so-called happy life with her husband. She says that “I had been smothering myself to save my marriage. When it ended, I had a lot of fears, but I also had faith that I was doing the right thing, in the end, I know that I’ll have my degree, I’ll be helping women and children reach their own goals, and I’ll be providing a good example for my daughter.”

To this brave attitude, psychologist Karen Reivich, PhD, of the Positive Psychology Center at the University of Pennsylvania who has also written the book ‘The Resilience Factor: 7 Keys to Finding Your Inner Strength’ and ‘Overcoming Life’s Hurdles’ views it as a skill tagging it as resilience. He adds that “It’s a myth that you’re either born resilient or you’re not. Resilience can be learned or enhanced.”

For testing that how different people perceive resilience differently, I asked views of some women and experts personally. Check ahead the tips for attaining the special quality of rebounding?

Phone A Friend:
We all know that men have a better potential to settle themselves from any kind of losses, but do we know that women also carries the same potential to recoil quickly because they have some or the other people with whom they can clear up inner feelings that otherwise could eat up her robustness like termites if she wouldn’t had shared it with others.

There is a case of Michele Wetherald who resides in Washington D.C. who lost her professional career after serving as a CEO, but instead of falling back in melancholy. She bravely stood up and embarked a mini-support group called ‘SWAN’ which stands together for “Smart Women Are Networking.” This support group aims at getting a job and prospering, for that they held meetings once in a month wherein everyone conglomerates. They together hearten each other by recalling each other of their strengths.

Forget The What-Ifs:
Dr. Reivich explains that “Your mind can be like a snowball—every bad thought leads to another one (‘and then this is going to happen, and then this, and then this’), “That just makes you feel more pessimistic and less in control.” He suggests a stress-busting three-table technique from which you can overcome your fears.

  1. Take a piece of paper and divide three columns in it. Title the first column as ‘worst fears’ and write every possible fear that comes into your mind, don’t shy away if it is impractical or how much ever ridiculous.
  2. Then name the third column as ‘best case’ over here also come with some weirdest points, as I has mentioned in the above point. Come out with extreme happy cases that you can think about.
  3. Finally, it’s the turn of the second column and entitle this as ‘most likely’, here you need to be realistic and facing your most likely fears and the method you will tackle with it.

Focus Forward:
Karen Salmansohn who has penned down ‘The Bounce Back Book: How to thrive in the face of adversity, setbacks and losses’ says that “Ask yourself depressing questions, you’ll get depressing answers.” He further adds to it a great solution “Nothing positive comes out of ‘Why me?’ Instead, ask yourself, ‘How can I move forward?’ or ‘Why am I a better person for this?’” she says. “Think of yourself as a student of life instead of a victim of it.”

This horrid instance that took place with James Weiss has taught her some unforgettable precious lessons that the whole life of 51 years went impossible to teach her. She devoted her whole life for working efficiently and then one day when she literally went bankrupt and sunk herself in millions of debt, she enlightened her brains that money is not everything and the essential need of life. She acquainted herself to the facts of life like family, children, loved ones, things that drives your passion which may not always include job or things that earn you material benefits.

Melt “Icebergs”:
It’s always not correct that whatever principles your forefathers have set are absolutely right, because they are not. Those orthodox principles, as said by Samansohn proclaim that ‘girls don’t get angry’ or ‘good people don’t get divorced’ or ‘getting fired means you are of no use and a big failure.’ Till what time will these lies rule the society, now people need to wake up and set contemporary thoughts. They need to reconsider the old principles and differentiate what is right and what is wrong.

Salmansohn suggests “the way to do that is to use your rational, adult thinking to dispute them, just the way you did some of your other childhood beliefs, like when you realized there wasn’t actually a monster living inside your closet.” I know your frozen thoughts cannot change within a day as there is a famous saying “Rome was not built in a day.”

But you need to take initiative from now onwards and start bringing for a change gradually. Start it simply, take a piece of paper and write down the icebergs and besides its write a point that proves it to be erroneous.

Know It Won’t Last:
Research has found that after you ask individuals to think about how things will occur in life after they have to go through bad situations, they tend to over pressurize themselves by exaggerating the fears of mind i.e. they think that they will get devastated even though when they turn to be not. Similarly, it happened in the case of De’Shazior who after getting divorced got frightened of the fear of losing her home and coming on the streets, although today she has a lavish home of her own with a verandah. She says that, “Now I have a lovely home with a porch, and I sit there every morning. It’s funny how my biggest worry ended up turning out so well.”

Lend A Hand:
Wash your obsessiveness by handling yourself to help others, and see where you reach. This will help you to gain a momentum as you start getting applauded for your work by the society. Eventually, you will turn happier and enhance your self-confidence. Dr. Lyubomirsky explains that “People who do acts of kindness feel more generous, they see that other people appreciate them, and they get happier over time.” So, get ahead boldly and don’t shy away from lending a helping hand to others. Your actions will not only benefit others, but also help you advancing and getting yourself tremendous benefit.

Alice Yaker, aged 67 inhabitant of New York City discovered that she was suffering breast cancer during 1990’s; she had a surgery done with the support of SHARE, an organization for women with cancer and ovarian cancer. Later, she joined the group as a member, and further managed to gain the position of Executive Director. She shares with us, knowing that something horrible took place with me, but I was going to use the further of my life to support others was very strong feeling.

Regain Control:
Dr. Reivich explains that “Anxiety is what we feel when we believe two things: that something bad is about to happen and that we don’t have the ability to cope with it.” To dispose those fretful feelings, you need to get involved in things that are under your control. Even if you concentrate on things like maintaining cleanliness in your private apartment, it will give way to positive feelings and thrust the melancholic feelings.

This is an instance which took place in the life of Mary Miller, who was sacked from her job where she efficiently worked as an accountant manager. Eventually, she got depressed running the trains of brain pondering over ‘What wrong did she do?’ Her hubby aided him saying her to adapt to her old passions which has helped her to evolve from stress. She stuck to her artistic enthusiasm and you know what? Throngs of people desired to buy her art creations like watercolors, beaded jewelry, etched glass and many more. Today, Mary has decided to join her previous profession but she doesn’t want to leave her love for art which inspires her to be creative and gives way to express herself. She says that “It makes me feel productive when I spend all day working in my craft room, I don’t want to lose that.”

Face Your Fears:
Studies have proved that at an elderly stage of your life, you tend to regret the things that you have not done rather than spurring you to perform the things. A research carried over 20,000 European people in the year 2005 conveys that men and women who dared to venture in risks were more happy and contented with their lives other than those who did not. Falling backwards after facing losses is obvious to make anybody inactive or upset, but when you don’t date after getting divorced or don’t move to a bigger organization after sack off. Dr. Lyubomirsky says that “When you’re in the throes of a traumatic event, you tend to get a lot of support, but when that falls away, you can get even more depressed, not being afraid to move forward can help propel you to that next, happier stage of your life.”

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