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Seven Guidelines To A Well Rounded Youth
We, as adults, must always keep in mind that learning the rules of social behaviour and learning about self control take its time. The time in question might be years on end. The key is not to expect too much from your child and not to expect him to remember what you said last time. The child may not be necessarily defying your earlier instruction, but might have simply forgotten it. One must try being forgiving and repeating our instructions. Words never mean as much as actions and you really have to show your child how to behave. Here are some of the things that a parent can do.
Firstly, have as few ‘rules’-those instructions which can be broken under no circumstances-as possible. ‘Don’t’ is a very negative word and, if you are not careful, by the time your child is going through his primitive years, you could be prefacing everything you say by ‘Don’t’. ‘Do’ is a very positive word, so reinforce with positive ‘dos’ and cut down on the ‘don’ts’.
We must avoid giving vague instructions; and try being very clear. Instead of saying ‘Don’t be naughty’ we must tell the child exactly what we don’t want him to do.
Every instruction given to the child must have a justifiable reason behind it. Try to refrain from saying ‘Because I say so’ when asked by the child.
Always reward good behaviour with praise and affection, possibly even with a treat if your child has accomplished something difficult. You can distinguish between good and bad behaviour just by withholding praise and rewards from acts that you don’t approve of.
There is no better way to getting your child to do something than to show that you do it too. If you want your child to take off his dirty shoes at the entrance, or put up wellingtons before he goes out in the wet, show that you are prepared to conform to this procedure too, by doing the same with your shoes.
Being consistent is of primal importance with never letting standards slide. Avoid giving one instruction on one occasion and the opposite on another. Although you can show that under certain circumstances you are prepared to be flexible.
Always admit your mistakes no matter how young your child is and always be generous when you do something wrong. It makes your child feel that the world is fair and just don’t be afraid to acknowledge in front of your child that you were wrong and won’t do it again.
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